20 Family Stresses and Top 10 Ratings from Married Women, Married Men and Single Mothers

Delores Curran in her book Stress and the Healthy Family started out with a longer list of family stresses that affect how well the family functions and works together. This was narrowed down to the top 10 lists as the families in the study were surveyed.

She defined dis-stress as a condition that exists when family life gets out of control. Ms. Curran lists the following symptoms of a constantly stressful family:

• A constant sense of urgency and hurried; no time to release and relax
• Tension that underlies and causes sharp words, sibling fighting, misunderstandings
• A mania to escape -to one’s room, car, garage, away
• Feelings of frustration over not getting things done
• A feeling that time is passing too quickly; children are growing up too fast
• A nagging desire for a simpler life; constant talk about times that were or will be simpler
• Little “me” or couple time
• A pervasive sense of guilt for not being and doing everything to and for all the people in one’s life

TOP 20 Family Stresses

The following list of stresses were not highly ranked, so they were dropped from the final survey. They include some everyday stresses, major crisis situations or pervasive individual issues. They were not as common, however, will still benefit by the helpful strategies given in the book.

The retirement

widowhood

drug/alcohol

House guests

Nuclear and environmental fears

Older parents church and school activities

family vacations

Remarriage

Relationship with former spouse

Summers

Unsatisfactory housing

Two-paycheck family

Organized sports/activities

Change and work patterns

Homework/school/grades

Religious differences

Weekends

Pre-dinner hour

Unemployment

Now we will list the rankings for Married Women, Married Men and Single Mothers.

FAMILY STRESSES	MARRIED MEN	MARRIED WOMEN	SINGLE MOTHERS
1.	Economics/finances/budgeting	Economics/finances/budgeting	Economics/finances/budgeting
2.	Insufficient couple of time	Lack of shared responsibility in the family	Guilt for not accomplishing more
3.	Communicating with children	Insufficient couple of time	Insufficient “me” time
4.	Children’s behavior/ discipline/ sibling fighting	Children’s behavior/ discipline/ sibling fighting	Self-image/self-esteem/ feelings of unattractiveness
5.	Spousal relationship                     (communication, friendship, sex)	Housekeeping standards	Children’s behavior/ discipline/ sibling fighting
6.	Over a scheduled family calendar	Insufficient “me” time	Unhappiness with work situation
7.	Insufficient “me” time	Guilt for not accomplishing more	Housekeeping standards
8.	Unhappiness with work situation	Insufficient family play time	Communicating with children
9.	Insufficient family play time	Spousal relationship                     (communication, friendship, sex)	Insufficient family play time
10.	Television	Self-image/self-esteem/ feelings of unattractiveness	Lack of shared responsibility in the family

Source: Curran, D. (n.d.). Stress and the Healthy Family.

Next: How perspective is vital in managing Stress and Crisis.