Blaha, Blaha, Blaha- How to communicate and be heard.


We all want to be heard when we are having a conversation with others. The keys to being heard may be simpler than you might think.

Have you ever had a conversation with someone who was distracted by something else or looking at their watch? In your mind, what were you thinking? “What you are distracted by must be more important than me! What you have planned after our meeting must be better than talking with me!”

It’s interesting how our body language impacts our communication and connection in our relationships.

The foundations of positive communication are very simple skills that increase the connection of one person with another. I believe we all know these skills; however, we often get caught up in the hectic pace of life that distracts us from what matters most in our lives- connections in our relationships.

Here are simple body language skills that will promote connection:

  • Give undivided attention
  • Look at the person
  • Smile

Positive Communication consist of 2 basic skills:

  1. Be interested in the other person and show your interest by asking open ended questions. Open ended question can be answered with more than a word or short phrase.


Tell me about your day.

What is going on in your world?

How did you react to that situation?

2. Actively listen to what the other person said.

How to Actively Listen:

  • Listen patiently, allow them to say all they need to say.
  • Listen for feelings.
  • Look for non-verbal messages.
  • After the person makes a statement to you- You say, “Let me see if I understood you- Did you mean…… “

How do we have Positive Communication?

Strong families spend large amounts of time in conversation. They talk about small, trivial topics as well as the profound, deep issues of life.

Good Communication follows six (6) rules*:

  1. Allow Enough Time
  2. Listen
  3. Check It Out- Try to understand what was really being said.
  4. Get Inside the Other Person’s World
  5. Keep the Monsters in Late-Night Movies- Avoid criticizing, evaluating or acting superior
  6. Keep It Honest- honesty and openness

* Adapted from Fantastic Families by Dr. Nick & Nancy Stinnett and Joe & Alice Beam